


Avengers Horror Story feat. Shia Labeouf

by orphan_account



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Gen, Rhyming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-16
Updated: 2013-04-16
Packaged: 2017-12-08 16:41:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/763633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This tale is horrific as hell and extremely gory.<br/>Not for the faint hearted, it's Avengers Horror Story!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Avengers Horror Story feat. Shia Labeouf

**Author's Note:**

> Before I proceed to telling this tale there's one thing I must do.  
> A bit of background information, I'll set the scene for you:  
> The Avengers, Loki and Pepper Potts are all sat by the TV.  
> They were bored so a movie night seemed like a good idea, you see.  
> That's the plot of this story. Now the rest will be told.  
> A terrifying horror and other events shall unfold.  
> So dim the lights, dear reader. Be lit up by your screen.  
> Brace yourself for  
> THE AVENGERS HALLOWEEN

T'was a dark and stormy night in New York City.  
The bustle in the streets below was cold, and wet and gritty.  
A huge shadow loomed over the tower of Stark.  
They heard the rain against the window and a distant wolf dog bark.  
The companions were not aware of the ever watching killer.  
They just sat and viewed the 1970s Thriller.  
But soon enough the night time took its toll. The Avengers fell asleep,  
Clint's head stuck in a bowl.  
And from the shadows, he emerged, fierce, hateful, rough. His name was whispered a mile away "Here comes Shia Labeouf."

Tony'd had a dull day and had been a grouch.  
But now, he felt some comfort, asleep, and sprawled across the couch.  
He sleep-elbowed Clint in the head and dropped his popcorn on the floor.  
He drooled, sleep-murmured and let out a huge snore.  
In his dreams he was in a most wonderful land.  
He strolled across the streets to a robot marching band.  
"Jarvis! It's been a while, my dear.  
I see that you have chosen a different career."  
"Indeed, Mr Stark, I have. I no longer work for you.  
I joined this band with my new found talent at playing the kazoo."  
"How great, Jarv. Such a band, I've never seen."  
"The first robot band on the Earth. Florence's Machines."  
"Well it's good that life has given you the ability to play.  
Nice seeing you, but now I must be on my way."  
Tony waved goodbye and headed off. Polite, he thought, I'm good.  
And then looked up and saw that he'd ended up in a wood.  
"Well this is different, I suppose. A neat change of scene."  
Unaware, was Tony Stark, of the killer in the green.  
Tony skipped along, hair blowing in the wind. Time to make his move...the observer grinned.  
Tony stopped as he heard a twig snap behind him.  
He looked around and narrowed his eyes; the forest light was dim.  
"Friend or foe?" Tony asked. "Or neither. I don't know. Geez."  
Shia let out a hearty laugh and sprung out from the trees.  
Tony yelped and started to run. "What do you want with me?!"  
"I'm here to make you pay...and EAT YOUR GOATEE!"  
Tony screamed and sprinted on- that, he couldn't take.  
He ran faster than Bolt himself. HIS GOATEE WAS AT STAKE!  
"I'm gonna eat your brains out and other stuff!"  
"OH MY GOD, ACTUAL CANNIBAL SHIA LABEOUF."  
Shia was too fast. And so caught up easily.  
"Ha! Stark! I've got you now. You're no match for me."  
"Please don't. Leave me alone! What do you want me to do?"  
Shia was about to speak but was stopped by a kazoo.  
The instrument descended on his head, the blow mean and bold.  
Shia's eyes rolled back in his head and he dropped down, stone cold.  
"Hello, Sir. You needed help. Thought I could assist."  
"JARVIS YOU PRECIOUS THING." Tony dived in for a kiss.  
"Um, no thank you, sir. I really have to go."  
And with that, Jarvis disappeared and Tony was alone.  
Then Tony woke up and looked at the TV screen.  
"THANK THE MERCIFUL HEAVENS. THAT WAS JUST A DREAM!"  
And with all that shouting, he woke up the other guys.  
Loki looked at Tony, and could not believe his eyes.  
"T-Tony," he stuttered. "Are you sure you're okay?"  
"Why wouldn't I be, Loki-Pokes? Just a bad dream, is all I'd say."  
Clint looked at Tony and his eyes grew wide with glee.  
"Okay, this is brilliant. Who shaved off your goatee?!"  
Tony went pale and trembled with pure fright.  
And in the distant city, Shia giggled with delight.


End file.
